Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Spousal Unit and the House Hunt

This is a reply to one of the houses Spousal Unit inquired about. Not really.

UPDATE: The landlord really did send out this email to us to apply for the house. I just inserted my comments. The only changes are marked in red.

The Earthy comment was just a tactfull remark made by Spousal Units's boss. The place really smells buffaloey. True, no grass to mow cause there is no yard for the house itself. I imagine we could share the pastures with the beasts if we asked nicely.

Dear Mr. and Mrs. !

That house is free, (hmm) 5 miles from Work.

Tank you very much for your interest in my property. Below please find my offer and several pictures from the house itself and the area around. It is a big house on an active buffallo farm in a very nice piece of land, all land arround belongs to us, woods, fields and so on.
rented out by owner: no commission Rental Agent fee which often equals a full months rent.

Description:
Living space 210 sqm About 2300sf
Rent 1170,-- € per month Deposit 1.600,-- € Exchange rate is now about 1.64 that is 1170 X 1.64= 1918.80 Europe is a very expensive place to live and this house is rather inexpensive compared to most homes.

Available : Now

Additional costs:
Heating: by meter, or est. cost
Electricity : by meter
Water: 30,-- € per pers./mth. (estimated cost)
Garbage removal: 30.-- €/mth. (fixed cost)
Heat inspection 17,-- €/mth. (fixed cost) (hmm! Why does the heater need to be inspected every month?)

Description:
1 big livingroom
1 dining room
1 big eat-in kitchen
4 bed rooms
2 bath rooms, furnished with bath tub and shower
1 big utility and laundryroom
1 big attic for storage
big parking area, outstanding landscape scenery
1 garage if desired

Would appreciate an answer on the following questions:

o how many family members will be living in the house ? 2 on a regular basis. 50 on occasion cause every one I know wants to come and visit. Come on down.
o what kind of pets do you have and how many ? None, unless you count the messy, messy boys coming to visit.
o how long do you plan to live in my property ? 4-5 years
o when can you moove in ? Spousal Unit in June or July. Me early October
o can you afford the monthly rent and fee ? Well DUH we wouldn't be asking about the house it we couldn't afford the rent. Not all Americans are ugly and Spousal Unit's boss doesn't think kindly on deadbeat non paying employees.

Thank you for your interst.
Your´s sincerly,
Hanns-Josef


Spousal Unit thought the house had possibilities but couldn't tolerate the buffalo herd. I thought that the house was YUCKY but liked the area and the Herd.

When Spousal Unit mentioned this particular house to his boss, the boss replied, "Ah, yes, I know exactly which house that is. Its rather "Earthy" there.

* She who edits